The BucketList

I'm a big fan of gentle, intelligent, and sophisticated humor. It's got nothing to do with any attitude - its just that I'm not very game for slapstick stuff.

(i've just realized my blog has turned into a movie review center !!)

What can two dying men say to each other on a hospital bed that will have you in splits !!

I'm not going to say anything on this one - a full 5 star movie.

Half Blood Prince

I'm not exactly a 'freak fan' of Mr. Potter - but i am a big fan of the sheer marketing that's gone into the making of perhaps one of the biggest phenomenons on the big screen in recent times. Let's not get into how they did that - it's beyond the scope of a blog post !

However, this is just a quick review of the latest - HBP a.k.a - Half Blood Prince. My personal opinion on the movie - trash ! I think that's cause the book isn't that mysterious. Except a major incident towards the end of the movie - there isn't anything else that keeps you gripped. And that's most unlike Mr. Potter. Perhaps i was expecting too much.

Other flicks to watch out for -

Transformers 2. Only if you're a fan of fiction to an extent that robots can 'transform' into your cigarette lighter. I am very skeptical of cars these days - god knows when one of em might just transform into a 100 ft. tall monster and start firing rockets at me !

Whatever happened to good 'ol cinema ! Or is it me whos getting older!

Chinese Secrets

A large section of people i know enjoy the 'Chinese' cuisine. They really relish the menu - right from spicy wantonese soups to those soft garlic noodles !

I've been experimenting with Chinese cuisine for over 2 years now. I cannot say i've perfected it but i have definitely picked up critical 'tricks' that should help the novice to medium cook who wants to stir up some 'slick' chinese menu.

TRICK #1
Always ... i mean ALWAYS use chicken stock. Sorry veggie peoples - but Chinese aren't exactly vegetarian ! use it for noodles also !

TRICK #2
Never hoard your wok. What this means is that always make servings of upto 2 people at the most. Your wok should be about 35-40% full when all the ingredients go in. ensure the wok isn't overflowing.

TRICK #3
Chop your veggies REAL FINE. And i mean - as fine as you can. Use a sharp knife. Especially hard to cook veggies like cabbage, onions, and carrots. (or leafy veggies)

TRICK #4
Use a WOK - yes. For my Indian readers - a 'kadhai' will not substitute. The wok is made out of a thinner sheet of aluminum - so it heats real fast and retains the heat longer. Unless you are making stew - chinese cuisine demands less time on stove.

TRICK #5
Don't throw in the Garlic when the oil is hot - it just burns the garlic. Especially in a wok. Ideally throw in something like Onions first. Burnt garlic takes the kick away from super noodles.

TRICK #6
Tips for boiling noodles:
- Put the noodles in the water ONLY when it starts boiling
- Keep the noodles just slightly undercooked - take em out and wash them with cold water
- If you can - boil the noodles in Chicken stock with some spices (like cloves, garlic, bay leaf, and salt)
- Post washing, dab the Noodles with little bit of olive oil and shake it well. The Noodles will retain their moisture.
- Timing is critical. The noodles should be ready just when they need to go into the Wok. Basically - they shouldn't be sitting on the kitchen slab !

I've been picking up some very interesting recipes from Sanjeev Kapoor's book. I generally make his recipie and then improvise every time. Sometimes i've hit rock bottom - but the trick with Chinese is to keep it simple and fast.

All the best and bon appétit !

Blame Twitter !

I never realized that its been over 2 months since i've posted ! Twitter is a really bad influence i must say. I guess 140 characters makes a deeper dent that 'freedom to write'.

Follow me on Twitter

Pardon the absence

I've not posted here for a long time now - have been bitten by the Twitter bug. You can follow me here.

Am compiling my thoughts on a MODERN DAY MAHABHARAT - bookmark this blog NOW - you dont want to miss this.

Harvey Milk - boy what a story !

i dont know what's it about such guys - are they great actors or great directors, or their technology is superior or WHAT !! God knows when a team at Bollywood can create something so remarkable as MILK.

Yes, yes ... i know. But you've only heard half the story when you know that its about Gay people in San Francisco. Sean Penn - the actor whos played Harvey Milk is outstanding.

The movie is so simple, so straight and so beautifully narrated. It's not as though there's a lot of camera work, or sexy dance routines. There's not even a heroine (per se) in this movie. It's a performance beyond measure.

However, a word of caution. Watch this movie only if you have an open mind and can appreciate art and talent at a level above Govinda. It's not going to make sense to you.

What an AD

I have been wanting to write a post about the new Limca ad featuring Sushma Reddy (who's looking very sweet for a change)

The AD is so beautiful and the jingle is just fantastic. it's a real treat to the ears.

Job very well done.

Mahabharat in today's times

Today was a very interesting episode on Mahabharat - Draupadi 's 'vastra - haran'. (No no - this isn't an enticing post !)

So i was wondering if Mahabharat happened in the present age and if this incident was to happen in the courts of a king ruling a present age 'Hastinapur'.

Duryodhan: Dushi (short for Dushasan)
Dushi: Yo bro ! What's up?

Duryodhan:  Go get that Draupadi here.
Dushi: Why the hell should i go - you go yourself ! Or else tell someone else to do it. I'm almost finishing off the tutitian castle in C on my P. (what he means is command and conquerer on his PSP)

Duryodhan: Common man, get off your ass and go !
Dushi: hmph !

Dushi (to Draupadi): Let's go man. Bro wants to see u in court.
Draupadi: Behave yourself - i'm your brother's wife
Dushi: Look - come fast cause i dont have my charger with me. I need to finish this game before we head back home. My PSP is almost out !
Draupadi: NO  - i'm not coming.

Dushi gets upset and catches hold of Draupadi's hair. He then drags the KUL WADHU right into the courts of the blind king Dhritarashtra. Of course, he's blind and with his iPod playing St. Anger, he can't really hear much of what's happened.

As draupadi enters the courts, the darbaris quickly scamper for a phone with a video camera - the humble makings of a fantastic MMS scandal.

Duryodhan: Take off her clothes Dushi !
Draupadi: Are you crazy - what's wrong with you?
Duryodhan: You called me a blind king's blind son didnt you - now i'll show you who's blind !

Dushi moves towards Draupadi.

Draupadi: Dushi wait. I'm wearing cheap undies. Let me go and change into Victoria catalogue's page 37. That'll be more appropriate. I am after all a KUL WADHU.

Dushi: Ok - but move fast. Bro will make ME take off my clothes if you make him wait too long. (dushi gets back into his game)

Draupadi returns in a hot slinky short pants.

Dushi: Cool man - nice outfit.
Duryodhan: Man - you're hot.
Yudhistir: Dude - that's my wife !
Duryodhan: F#@# you man - u're my daas now ! Dushi - go for it.

Dushi: ok brother. (Dushi realizes this can be more entertaining than the castle victory)

Dushi tugs at Draupadi's clothes. unfortunately they are too tight and dushi has to pull harder.

Duryodhan: pull u idiot ! Common ! U're in the gym 3 hours a day - what the hell do you do there !
Dushi: AAAARGH....Damn these clothes man - i cant get them off.

Draupadi: What the hell man. I'm getting a chance to show off my body, which is now below 7% body fat, and you guys cant even take my clothse off. Here - let me help you - MUSIC PLEASE!

Then draupadi proceeds to execute a well choreographed dance routine that involves powerful gyrations of the lower abdomen. Suddenly 30 other skimpily clad women appear in the background. The lights dim down and the music kicks in - ' Doob ja mere pyaar me ... move your body baby, move your body !'

This year's Emerging talent female goes to draupadi (who'se real name is 'precious'). She thanks the entire team at mahabharat and wants to specially thank the producer BE OUR CHOPRA for giving her the opportunity for such a challenging role.

Last i heard her prices have quadrupled.

Bangalore vs Pune

I dont mean to be condescending towards Pune - but Pune weather SUCKS !! Big time !

I'm in Bangalore right now - sitting at home without a fan ! Not only is this not possible in Pune, you really cannot even IMAGINE it if you're there right now. Pathetic !

What makes it worse is that Bangaloreans are calling this weather a heat wave ! ....sigh !

One of the reasons why Bangalore has such excellent weather is its fauna. The sheer number of trees in Bangalore is amazing !! You really dont realize it - but take a ride through town and the horizon will always be green - something i cannot say about Pune. Where the Horizon is increasingly becoming brown !!

What a refreshing Change !!!

I've been crying hoarse about the unorganized and absolutely neglected state of the so called excuse of a MUSIC INDUSTRY in India.

This was further aggravated by the below par production by Sony on the Indian Idol finale yesterday evening. I cant even begin to be disgusted ! All MTV and Channel V do is push Bollywood. IF YOU DONT SHOW THEM WHAT ALL LIES OUT THERE - HOW WILL THEY EVER KNOW PEOPLE !!

If you've sat through a finale of any of the 7 American Idol series, you'll know what i mean when i say 'Post Production'. 2nd week of LUCK BY CHANCE and the theaters were empty. People say - it's slow and boring ! Yeah cause there aren't half naken hotties gyrating their crotches into the camera !

In this appalling scene, its absolutely wonderful to see one of the pioneers of Metal in India - AGNI (now AGNEE), making an effort to present a bold and charasmatic face of Indian Rock. I know I know ... who pays for it when you can cheat and download for free.

But that's exactly the point. The tide must change. The MUSIC industry needs to stand up on its own feet and disassociate itself from BOLLYOOD. Else Anu Malik will continue to believe he's a super composer.

Imagine the sheer volume of opporunities this can generate. And history has proven time and again that breaking such shackles will only benefit. IPL - one of the best examples, is opening doors for young cricketers. Sports needs to evolve as an industry. 

Check out Agnee's new positioning on the web here.

Audacity of Hope

I was trying to think of how did he manage to swing a presidential vote towards him when the odds were stacked up against him right from the start. Here are a few very interesting points i noticed:

- Obama SOLD his story. He sold and sold and sold to every single American. The scale of direct sales was spectacular.

- He had a team of very smart political advisors who gave him the right advice at the right time. Though McCain and Clinton both tried to slew him, Obama's camp maintained a tight composure and ensured the 'purpose' was never lost. In fact in his head to head debate with McCain, Obama was surprisingly calm, collected and downright witty. McCain on the other hand was talking like a beauty pageant contestant.

- Obama leveraged his oration. He is an eexcellent speaker and he's learnt it the hard way.

- His color was a great standoff. Americans to a fair extent are sick of what's happening. This was a right time to 'Suggest' a change - a change in color, creed, policies and most importantly - an office administration. Had Clinton's camp run the 'CHANGE IS HERE' message, i'm fairly confident obama wouldn't have had such an easy run.

In the end, Obama's camp emerged victorious due to multiple factors. But the victory just goes on to prove that a well planned and alert campaign can generate far better results than a campaign built on previous successes.

Marley - the worlds worst dog !

Johnathan Grogan is smart - he made money from his dog !

But everything set aside, this is one helluva fantastic movie (the book is better) - IF AND ONLY IF you are a dog fantatic. Yes you read that right - not a dog lover, a Dog FANATIC. You need to be head over heels in love with your dog to really enjoy this movie. And i can assure you - you'll end up crying your ass off in the end !!

One of the fundamental things he's captured in the book is the 'life with a dog'. And that too a dog like Marley. Over the story, Marley continues to charm and there are instances when you'll be like - THIS IS JUST LIKE JULIUS (or whatever you named YOUR dog).

The experience in beautiful. If you are a dog fanatic, you MUST watch this movie. Watch it for your dogs sake - you'll start enjoying every second you have with him.

On another note, those of you who dont have dogs - this is just not going to hit home. You'll find it a sweet movie with an obnoxiously crazy pet. But you JUST CANNOT RELATE TO IT.

Sorry non dog lovers - this ones for the doggers only !

My goldfish laid eggs!

This is a true FIRST EXPERIENCE !

My Oranda Pair - Joey and Chandler are evidently not boys !! Chandler is a boy, but after 8 months, Joey turned out to be a girl. Yesterday she laid about 2000 odd eggs all over my aquarium floor.

I'll update this post soon with the status of the eggs. I need to first separate them and start the fry-ing process ! Stay tuned folks ... this should be interesting !!

The Apprentice hooks ya !

I'm pretty badly hooked onto 'The Apprentice'. And i just LOVE the way trump says 'You're fired !'. It's just beautiful !

However, considering that this is a 14 week interview for Trump's intern, there are a few fatal flaws in the concept. The very first week say 2 groups that had Project Managers to lead the team through a task.

Unfortunately the losing PM comes under fire de facto since he has to take decisions and take risks. So the overall strategy in the game would be to lie low and once the group reduces to about 4 or 5, then come into your true element.

However, jokes apart - the series is simply awesome and even though this series rewrote Burnett's tax returns, it's a wonder if something like this would ever make sense in India...

hmm...

Me Slumdog, you Millionaire

So i saw the most hyped movie yesterday - Slumdog Millionaire.

 
There a few key observations that i have been making:

- the movie is not about India or Mumbai - so people who are upset that say India's been shown in bad light should get upset just as much as Russians should for the movie Air Force One (the Russians hijack the US president's plane)

- Because the movie has been made by a gora - we indians are going head over heels about the film. The movie's script and story is in fact very poor. I wouldn't say the recent cross between paycheck and memento a.k.a Ghajini has a good story, but even so.

- the movie is fairly gripping and the screenplay is good.

- i think the movie should have been made in hindi. The english language is still foreign to indians and on many scenes the punch was lost cause indians find it difficult to exude emotion in a foreign language. Anil Kapoor should stay away from English as a spoken language.

- the acting is nothing exceptional. Dev keeps a rather straight face throughout and so does his better half. Perhaps i too was expecting a lot.

in the end the stickiness of the movie is less. that is perhaps because I'm an indian and i see hope and dreams in the filth everyday. But an American would love the film cause he will find it difficult to believe why 10 year olds are being handicapped and made to beg. why dont they sue these people ?

of course the reverse holds true for RDB - something that an American can perhaps enjoy but never relate to.

overall a good experience. i wouldn't rate it out of the ordinary.
 

Jai Obama kee

So the world rejoices as a black gets sworn in as the president of US. Almost everyone, what the hell - EVERYONE has an opinion.

So i decided to go around ask what people have to say about this historic (or not) event. This is what they said when i told them that a Black American named Barrack Obama was the new President of America:

Babu (my milkman): Obama...Wohee jo kal raat ko mere ghar ke aage pada hua tha? Bahut peeta hai saala ....

Bhavna (My grocer): Arre UMREECA mein bahut paisa hai. Waise uska naam Obama hai kya? Black bole to .. ?

Om (My car washer): ummm ... Saab aap aaj paise de doge kya ?

Kishte (the guard): Acha hai saab. Wo kaala hai so it will 'HAILP US'.

Now for some hypothetical individuals:

Putin: Let see ... (that's actually what he said)

MF Hussain: If i paint Obama - what color do i choose? hmmm ... I guess just one would do. And what should i call it. Ms. Roy - any ideas?

Barkha Dutt: The whole world is rejoicing. But look at the state of the muslims. Does NDTV not care any more? Stop showing Obama - show me instead.

Harish Mehta (stockbrocker): Saala poora market ka watt laga hua hai. yeh Satyam wale bhi na.

(.. on repeating the question...)

Harish: What... Barrack Obama..? Which portfolio? Up hai? Kitna?

Paris Hilton: oooooo .....

Elvis Presley (from his grave): You aint nothing but a hound dog ...

Manmohan Singh: This is in fact a greatest day of my, i mean, our lives. This time America will truly support me, i mean us, in our effort to steal, i mean create, a wonderful environment. Thankfully for a change the papers seem to have lost focus on the fact that i'm bunking the Republic day parade.

Finally, ASATYAM King - Ramalinga Raju: .................. I want another lawyer.

Monthly Roundup

Time for my Monthly Roundup (Dec 08 + Jan 09):

Movies:

I am Legend

Very scary concept - but surely a nice movie to watch. A little creepy - what if it comes true. But i was hoping it will stay away from Resident Evil kinda concept.

Taken

Mind Blowing. Probably cause the sad name made me think it'll be a loser movie. Great speed throughout the movie. CIA the hero once again !






Yes Man

Jim Carey is getting into a habit of doing loser-turned-hero acts. Very predictable and just about manageable as a movie.

Burn after Reading

I'm surprised how Hollywood can make money from such an intelligent humor flick. I doubt it many an Indian will get the humor. It's too subtle - but hats off to Brad Pitt - his character is lovable and irritating at the same time.

Wall E

Disney + Pixar - that should settle it. Absolutely mind blowing. A keeper !





Resident Evil - Degeneration

This is Animation - sheer brilliance of it. It seems its pulled off by some US based design agency - fantastic work. Story is a bit off - too much larger than life, but hey - its all fiction.




Music:

Scott Stapp - The Great Divide

When Scott says CREED IS SCOTT STAPP - you must argue. Mark's absence was so apparent. But the music is crisp - cant say that about the entire album though. Surround Me and Sublime are the tracks to put into your iPod. Scott's voice is still the same - beautiful. Lots of people didn't like Creed and dont like Scott - but hey what can i say - i'm a true fan.  (Try it out here for FREE)

ACDC - Black Ice

Disappointing  to say the least. I was expecting better from this sincere classic rock band. That's the problem when you set the performance bar at that level ! Runaway train was what caught my fancy upfront. I'll be hearing more of the album to comment better.